The Adventures' of Spu
by Edward Cullen brings sexy back
Summary: A series of 1 shots that look at Spike and Dru's life together.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all,**

**I know I haven't posted on my Spuffy story in a bit, I have a Bata now for that story and am waiting on her, but it's on its way! In the meantime I've decided to write a series of one shots that explore the life of our fave crazy kids!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

**Crazy Little Party Girl**

"Spike my sweet?" Dru chimed as she swayed to non-existent music.

"Yes pet?"

"Can we have a party? One with balloons and pretty streamers?"

"We just had one last week luv."

"Not with balloons." She pointed out.

"No." He said firmly.

Dru started shaking with rage "Spiiike." She squealed. "You're a mean mean man." She pouted as her body twitched.

As usual Spike caved. "I'm sorry baby. Of course you can have a party." He murmured as his arms encircled her.

"With balloons?" she smiled.

"As many as you want."

"Oh goodie." She clapped her hands like a child. "Will I get presents?"

"Anything you want princess." He said kissing her neck.

"And games, like chop the tail off the donkey?"

"I don't know if we can get a donkey Dru. How about a nice virgin?" He suggested.

"Ooh yes please! They make my tongue sing!"

"I'll send the boys as soon as the sun sets." He promised.

"But I want it now!" She whined.

"The suns out darling, the boys will become crisps."

"Ohh pretty flames dancing to the screams." She giggled.

"Dru? Why don't we play a game while we wait?" He grinned moving his hand up her leg.

"I like games. Is it a wicked game?" She asked.

"Oh yes." He growled.

"Naughty William." She chuckled squealing as he swept her up in his arms...

_Later that night..._

Drusilla swayed with Spike to the beautifully horrifying beats that echoed through the crypt. "Everything is to your fancy pet?" He asked as they danced.

"Oh yes! The pixies in my head are singing!" She chimed.

"That's good I guess..."

"They like you." She grinned snapping her teeth.

"Do they now?" He asked playing along.

"Mmm hmm, your magic hands." She whispered "They make them dance."

"I see." He murmured trying to make a move.

"No." She snapped. "Not until I get my present."

"Of course sweetheart. What was I thinking? Close your eyes?"

"OOOH!" She squealed in delight.

"No peeking Dru." He scolded when she did so. "Okay." He told her.

"Oh pretty." She gasped as she took in the sight of a dark haired girl in a jumper. She cut her cheek with a long manicured nail." Look Spike? She has bright colors inside...".

**There we go... Good? Bad? Please REVIEW!**


	2. The Idiot Mob

**Back by popular, okay... 2 peoples demand. Let us join our lovebirds in Prague.**

**Disclaimer: Joss is Jesus, the end.**

**The Idiot Mob**

Spike and Dru were cuddled up together in an abandoned where house.

"Spike, I'm cold." Drusilla whimpered.

"I've got you babe." Spike comforted placing his duster over her weak shaking shoulders.

"Can we move to a castle?" She looked at him like a hopeful child.

"I'm trying pet, a lot of the castles are too close to people."

"Princesses live in castles. I'm your princess." She pointed out.

"Yes they do, and you are, but the people luv-".

"Kill them." She said in an uh duh tone.

"There's too much risk." He said closing the discussion.

"I want my castle!" Dru screamed. "Daddy would've given me a castle! You never give Princess anything! Miss Edith says I should be very cross with you."

"Don't be like this Dru." Spike pleaded. "I hate it when you're upset with me."

"Will Princess get her castle?"Dru grinned.

"How come I can never deny you?" Spike asked kissing her cheek.

"Oooooooooooooooo yippy!" She clapped her hands. "Kill them Spike, Kill them all!"

"You got it baby."He smiled.

"What do you think pet?" Spike asked as they stood in the sea of dead bodies that littered the castle floor.

"So much fear." She grinned wickedly. "It's so pretty."

"Anything for my princess."

Drusilla eyed a set of shackles in the corner with a devious expression "Spike? Can we play?"

"Absolutely." His eyes smouldered as he stalked her like a jungle cat...

_(Rated T sorry peeps.)_

Spike was startled awake by Dru's piercing scream. One priest was holding a cross to her forehead while another dripped Holy water on her exposed chest. Spike attacked instantly snapping their necks. Fifty more fell on them in seconds chanting and pouring, pouring and chanting Spike crouched over Dru fangs snapping at the oldest hate group known to man. So much for love thy neighbour. Spike's rage grew as he felt Dru cry and tremble behind him. How dare they make her cry, they had to learn their manners. He leapt right into the thick of the mob tearing limbs left and right, enjoying the screams that followed. He didn't rest until the only sound in the room was Drusilla's whimpering sobs from the corner where she had curled into a fetal position.

"Dru baby, are you alright?"He asked gathering her in his arms.

"They were bad bad men. They deserve to be ripped to pieces." Drusilla pouted.

"It's done luv." Spike assured.

"Good boy." Dru praised pecking him on the lips.

**Aww so cute... I guess. Please review I'll love you forever.**

**Xo-ECBSB**


	3. Pretty Spike

**Hey Peeps, thanks for all the comments. They're super sweet.**

**Disclaimer: All hail Whedon**

**Pretty Spike.**

"Hello princess. Did you have fun shopping?" Spike asked as Drusilla climbed into his lap.

"Ooo yes. The clerk was sweet; he tasted like cakes and honey. Wanna taste?" She asked melting her lips into his.

"Yum." Spike grinned

"I bought things to make you pretty." Dru chirped removing peroxide, black nail polish and enough gel for an army from one of the bags.

"Oh no Dru, I'm not one of your bloody dolls." Spike scowled.

"Spike..." Dru whined her eyes as big as saucers.

"No, sorry pet."

"I wanna play." Dru shot to her feet and stomped her foot. "I worked really hard, and now you won't play." The water works hit. "Mean William, MEAN!" She wailed falling to the ground.

Spike bent beside her frantic "No, No baby, I'm sorry."

"Mean." She sniffled.

"Your right, I'm a bad bad man. Come on Dru, let's go make me pretty." He smiled drying her eyes.

"You'll play?" She grinned

"Anything to make you happy luv."

"Yay!" She beamed pulling him towards the sink. "Sit." She ordered pointing a finger at him.

"Yes Dru."

"Good boy." She smiled as she worked the chemicals through his hair.

Spike tried desperately to not cry as the dye burned his scalp. "I think we're good sweet."

"Ok." She clapped shoving Spike's head under the tap causing him to splutter. "Silly Willy, you're not supposed to drink it." She sighed shaking her head.

"Silly me." He mumbled when her water torture was complete.

"Ooo, pretty. She giggled.

So what if the big bad looked like a poofter. It was worth it when he saw the joy dance in Dru's eyes. "What's next sweetheart?"

"Pretty colors." She said holding the polish while her smile got wider.

"That's not half bad." He admitted examining the first nail she painted.

"See? This is fun!"

"Yeah, it is." Ok, not really, but it wasn't AWFUL.

"There." Drusilla said admiring her handy work.

"All done?" Spike asked hopefully.

"Almost." She said before grabbing the gel bottle and emptying most of it on his head. "All done!" She announced after working it through.

Spike examined himself in the pool of water in the sink. "Only real men can wear nail polish and still be a badass."

**And that my friends is how Spike's metro sexuality began. R&R PLEASE?**

**Xo-ECBSB**


	4. Soul Provider

**Hi yawl, get ready for sad sweetness.**

**Disclaimer: No Spike for me.**

**Soul Provider**

Spike's heart leapt in his chest as soon as he heard the crash. "Dru!" He cried as he ran down the hall following her screams of frustration to the bathroom and wrenching the door open.

"Spike." She whimpered from the ground.

"I'm here baby, what happened?" He asked sitting her up and checking for bruises.

"The ground doesn't want to be friends with my foot anymore."She said scowling at the floor.

"Are you hurt?"

"My head"

He smoothed her hair back and saw the bruises forming on her forehead and temple. "I'm sorry pet. I shouldn't have let you come in here by yourself." He said gathering her to him.

"Get it." She growled.

"Get what luv?" He asked confused.

"That." She said kicking the ground.

"Oh, ok?" He said stomping his foot. "Better?"

"Yeah." She slurred. God she really was out to lunch.

"God, you're freezing" He noticed, rubbing her arms.

"Make it go away?" She looked like a sad kitten, it broke his heart.

"I'll do my best." He said scooping her up, her body was so weak he could feel her ribs. "I'll make it all go away." He swore blinking away tears.

"Don't cry, you'll fix it." She said kissing him weakly.

"How do you know?"

"The prince always fixes things."

"You're right." He chuckled.

"I know." She said as he laid her down gingerly, on the king bed she looked even smaller.

"I'll be right back, you need to eat something."

"Not hungry." She pouted.

"Please Dru, for me?"

"Too tired to kill. Useless! " She screamed pulling at her hair by the roots.

"Dru! Drusilla! Stop! Look at me? Stop it!" He begged as he held her wrists downs.

"No good, no good." She sobbed

"That's not true and you know it. You're just sick." He couldn't bare this, HE was the useless one not her.

"Do you still love me?" Her eyes were wide and honest.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do, don't be mad?" Well, anymore than normal.

"Promise?"

"On my unlife." He vowed caressing her cheek.

"Yay!" She beamed clapping her hands.

"Now will you eat something? Please baby?"

"Yes." She sighed.

"That's my girl." He smiled walking over to the closet and opening it. "Lady's choice." He said gesturing like a spokes model to the six people bound and gagged inside.

"Hmm." She said putting her finger to her lips. "That one." She said pointing to a red haired co-ed.

"As you wish." He said dragging the girl out by the hair.

"Wait?" Dru cried as he positioned his fangs over the girl's jugular.

"What is it darling?" Spike sighed trying to keep his temper.

"Let 'er go." When he looked like he was going to lose it she added "I like it when they struggle."

His eyebrow arched and he smirked. "Alright, we can play." He ripped the ropes off. "Run." He growled at the girl.

It was sweet how she tried. At one point he actually let her think she was going to get away and then fell upon her snapping her neck in one swift movement.

"My lady?" William grinned, presenting his kill.

"That's my boy." She purred sinking her fangs deep with a wet crunch.

"Good girl." He praised stroking her hair as she sucked the girl dry.

"She tasted like panic." Dru said licking her lips and grinning.

"Full?" He asked licking the blood from her cheeks.

"Yup." She chirped

"Okay go to sleep? You need your strength." He bent to kiss her brow.

"Spike?" She whispered as he turned to go "Tell me a story?"

"Alright luv." He grinned lying next to her. "Let's see... Once upon a time there was a Slayer..."

**Hope you all liked it. R&R PLEASE?**

**Xo-ECBSB**


	5. Killer Christmas

**Hey all you lovely people, let's see what those crazy kids do during this time of year.**

**Disclaimer: So not mine all hail Whedon, for he is God.**

**Killer Christmas**

"I want a bigger one." Dru whined as Spike's flunkies stood up a monstress evergreen in the foyer.

"Anything bigger wouldn't fit in the house pet." Spike pointed out wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Then get a bigger house." She said in a way that sounded like "duh" should be on the end of that sentence.

"I'll start looking after Christmas." He promised.

"No no no!" Dru squealed. "I told you, red lights only! Spike! Their doing it all wrong! Wrong, wrong wrong!" She screamed shaking with rage.

"It's all right baby. You heard the lady!" Spike barked at the now cowering minions "Why don't we let the boys do this and we'll go have hot chocolate?" Spike grinned.

"Oooh yes please!" Dru beamed clapping her hands. As they walked hand in hand Dru smirked.

"What has you all smirky luv?"

"Can I have my presents?"

"It's not Christmas yet" He scolded as she perched on his lap with her mug.

"Just one?" She pouted

"No." He grinned, pecking her cheek.

"Spike, please?" She whined nibbling his earlobe.

"Alright, but just one." He said firmly.

"Oooooooooooooo." She giggled hopping up and running over to the mound of packages. All of which were addressed to her. She selected a small gold package from the bottom of the pile causing the whole thing to topple before prancing back to Spike.

"That's from me." As if they could be from somebody else.

Dru ripped the paper off like a toddler, opened the velvet box and gasped.

"Do you like it pet" Spike asked as he fastened the large diamond heart shaped pendent around her throat.

"It's so pretty" She smiled. "I got you something too." She smirked and then clapped her hands. Two minions came in pushing a blindfolded college freshman who had red ribbon tying her hands and she was gagged with mistletoe.

"Drusilla, this is exactly the one I wanted!" Spike beamed lifting her off her feet.

"I saw you eyeing her in the mall."

"She's perfect." He smiled slinking over to the girl and piercing the throat.

"How was she?" Dru asked when he'd finished.

"Delicious, seems a shame to throw her out though." Spike sighed.

"Hang her up." Dru barked at the surrounding vamps. "Merry Christmas my William." Drusilla grinned standing under the mouth of the now hung up corpse.

"Merry Christmas baby." Spike smiled and pulled her in for a kiss...

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! Love to all my readers! Hey, you know what would be an awesome gift? REVIEW!**

**Xo-ECBSB **


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